Wednesday, September 10, 2008

He's late

An hour late is all it takes for me to start wondering if he's drinking again. Grocery store then home, just to pick up two things for shouldn't take him this long. But I don't want to call. Not yet.
Each car that drives by, I listen to hear his truck. But nothing yet. And the seconds tick by.
Now I'm limping from room to room (my back pain is brutal), not wanting or able to clean or cook. Is this engine his? It slows, turns and parks...but not his truck.
Cross your fingers for me. This could be a long night.

Seriously. What would you do?


Shadow said...

i went through very similar emotions when i was a kid with my dad. and what CAN you do. except hope and pray it isn't so... hugs!

Kathy Lynne said...

Now in my life, I'd take care of myself. I don't have anyone who drinks with me but I do have a 17 yr old son who does not communicate.

Back in the day, sadly, I was the one you were waiting for and nothing you could have done would have brought me home sooner if I took that first drink. No matter what I promised, even on Christmas Eve (yup, it happened, me with 2 wonderful young children at the time), if I started drinking I was done. Phone calls didn't help, they were just annoying and once I got home recriminations only served to arouse my guilt and anger which then led me to another drink. Or suspicians just caused me to lie and deny.


Molly said...

Hey Kathy Lynne, thanks for your comment, you've inspired the next post. And also, it's really really good to hear from the other side of the coin with what he may be thinking, feeling or dealing with.

And thanks for the virtual hugs from you both.

Cat said...

I cannot believe how we all are so close in expierence yet so far away - here have a look I wrote this last Feb. Cat

Molly said...

Thank you thank you Cat

Syd said...

I've been there. It's tough and nearly drove me to divorce. I don't know what to tell you other than it's like living in hell. Al-Anon has taught me to detach. So perhaps I would simply try to go to sleep. I'm not sure though if I could go through active alcoholism again.