Yesterday we had Thanksgiving dinner at his parents home, just the four of us. After six years, I'm finally learning how to be around his parents without feeling awkward and uncomfortable. I feel secure enough to just be myself and not worry about what they may think of me and my relationship with their son. I relaxed, and laughed, and had a really good time.
In the early years when we were together, I wanted desperately to make a good impression. I wanted them to see me as more than a girlfriend, but as a daughter-in-law. Not because I wanted their love, but because I wanted his. But shortly after we got married, the alcohol problem came out from under the rug. Our constant fighting made family occasions together awkward because I didn't know what or how much his parent knew. I was protective and withdrawn. When we separated, his father came to our apartment to talk to me. My man didn't know about that conversation for many months, maybe years. And I didn't see his parents for a long time after that. Just this year, we've gotten together with them a handful of times. Given our history, the circumstances feel a bit awkward to me. But I don't feel stressed out anymore. I guess I know I tried to do the right thing for myself and for him. I think also the words of the serenity prayer apply perfectly. I'm finding the wisdom, in this situation at least.
I don't think we'll ever be at point where I feel comfortable talking about the trials and tribulations of loving their alcoholic son, but one never knows.
In the meantime, I'm exceedingly grateful for his continued sobriety. I feel close and connected with him. I feel happier and more secure than I can remember and I don't think I could ask for anything more.
Except to talk about our future babies.
But I don't think I'll push my luck. :-)
Happy holidays to all.
It's Been a Decade!
9 months ago