14 days.I don't think I'm supposed to be counting, but I'm just so damn amazed.
Last night I had dinner ready for him when he got home from his 14th meeting (in as many days!). We sat at the table and talked. I tried to eat slowly so that he'd spend more time sitting there with me, sharing and communicating. It felt soooo good.
One of the things we talked about was the spirituality aspect of AA and Alanon. Neither of us are religious, have any particular faith, or even give "God" much thought. But it does seem as though a Power greater than ourselves could restore us. I just have to figure out what this means to me. I know what it doesn't mean. This power is not some man in the sky. This power has no part in vengeance, revenge, hatred, or war (small and large). This power doesn't care if we say certain words, eat certain foods, or pray a certain way.
Somehow, to me, this power is the connection between every person, every plant, every animal on this planet. In a way, this planet with it's rare and unique and incredibly fragile ecosystem, is a Greater Power. It's my opinion that science and physics are much closer to understanding "God" than theologians.
But what do I know.
My brain is starting to hurt. Maybe it'd be easier if God was a big bearded man in the sky.
Okay, I have lots to be grateful for, so here's a little Thursday list:
I am grateful for
1. 14 meetings, 14 days
2. Dinner with my man
3. Rain delay this morning--time to do a load of laundry, eat breakfast and blog (I feel so spoiled!)
4. Warm oatmeal with almonds and dried cranberries
5. Being too poor to have any money invested anywhere!
6. My sweet, furry, uber-cute cat who's bumping her head on my arm while I type
7. Honey Crisp apples from the farm up the street
8. My family and friends (including, of course, my new blogger friends)
9. The Library
10. Having lots to be grateful for!
Happy Thursday!
Molls
14 comments:
your grateful list is tip top!
hp? it's a power. it's a feeling. it's god. it's many things to many people. to me it's goodness, faith, hope, belief, love, trust. but whatever it is, it works.
i'm so happy for the both of you.
I think "God" is there beside you, you'll feel him soon. But I know what you are saying, and it was a great post. How did you get so smart, Moll-Moll?
Check my blog comments today.
Good list, Molls. Like it :)
Got to you thru Lou's blog. Huge congrats to your hubby. Good luck with that! Come over and visit sometime. We can have a glass of sweet tea together (not really but in the blog world one can do anything right?)
Beautiful post Molls. I just loved it. My Higher Power, God, is just as you describe and IS NOT just as you describe. Vengeance, wars, hatred, revenge are of people, not God, IMO.
If you like the God you're finding (it sounds like you do) then thank God for AA, Alanon, and the twelve steps that allow us to do develop a closer relationship with our HP.
Oh Molls, would you please Email me--please trust? I've just gotta expound a bit on the following:
Me: "Molls, all have their own ideas (or no idea!) of what IS their Higher Power.
Well, IMO, you already have it, just don't know it. (It's all over your blog, in second paragraph.
Welcome!
Sounds to me like you have a God of Your understanding..xo
Communication is great. And it sounds like the way you both communicate is helping the relationship. And our Higher Power is bigger than any of us and surpasses our understanding.
You know, my husband and I came into recovery as atheist and agnostic, but found spirituality (not religion) in recovery. I had to spend a lot of time saying what God was not (the man in the sky who was the God of my childhood) to get at what God is to me (a great connectedness and energy).
Molls - I am amazed how similar we are proving to be - in my eyes - spirituality is something that can happen when it encompasses the whole of the world and its creatures - I find some of the teachings of Buddhism have been helpful - but certainly not all - I am thrilled for your 14 days connection - little celebrations along the path make the journey so much better! Cat
Well said. I'm glad things seem to getting better for you two.
Shadow-glad you liked the list, i had trouble making it to 10!
Lou-you're the best! Thanks so much and I wish I could give you a BIG HUG.
PG-I think your blog is going to be most helpful to me in this search.
Alky-email sent your way!
MJP-"great connectedness and energy...i like that...
Hugs to you, Cat.
Thanks for all the kind words bloggers, it means the world to me.
Wow, things seem to be moving in the right direction.
I think you (from what I gather) are great. Certainly all these people can’t be wrong.
Or can they...
Re: your comment on my blog.
No - I'm not reading your mind, and YES, my post was for you. I may have not known that when I wrote it, but it seems God did.
My only other thought is that sometimes we're praying to God and don't even know it because we have preconceptions about how prayer looks and all the trappings.
When I'm thinking about God and other people, it is often prayer.
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