Ramblings on living and loving a man with a brain disease called alcoholism.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
I haven't been blogging much this week. The onset of fall means the gardening company I work for only has about 6 more weeks (if we're lucky) to make the rest of our money for the year. As a manager I'm feeling under-the-gun to motivate my tired gardeners and generate work from strapped clients. We're doing lots of bulb installs right now. This week my crew planted over 10,000 bulbs on various properties. I'm so excited to see what they look like next spring, as long as the critters don't eat them all first! Anyway, that's my explanation. I hope to catch up on blogs this weekend. :-)
Meanwhile, today marks 31 days of sobriety for S. We've never been in this place before and it's certainly a strange, new world. Based on what I've read on blogs and heard in meetings and talked about with our counselor, I know that this is a period of monumental adjustment. And indeed it does feel that way. Whenever I start to feel confused or distressed or frustrated, I try to think about God. I've started reading Your Sacred Self by Wayne Dyer and am really enjoying it. Unfortunately, I keep falling asleep in bed while trying to read it with one eye open. But it's a start. S and I have started talking about spirituality too. Today, while driving to Salem, we talked about the second step and what it means and how we understand the Higher Power. I'm just grateful to be able to have the conversation with him, regardless of where it goes. Intellectually, I know that this is a long journey for us. I also know that I can't really understand what this journey will be like until I've lived it. I'm looking forward to growing closer to God to help support me throughout.
Is this what it feels like to have faith?
Anyway. I hope everyone is well out there in Bloggerland.