Thursday, September 11, 2008

Taking Care of Myself

Intellectually, I know that I need to "take care of myself". But what does this really mean? I did see an acupuncturist today and think I'm sold on that style of medicine for the rest of my days on earth. That was a step towards taking care of myself. I wonder in what other ways I should or could take care of myself.
I eat too many sweets, smoke too much herb and too many cigarettes, and the acupuncturist said I need to give up coffee. (Cruel and unusual punishment, I say)
On the other hand, I'm trying to make friends and do stuff in the community (going to the library, volunteering on weekends, evening class next month...). This sounds reasonably healthy and well-adjusted, no? Physically I could be in a lot worse shape, I think.
In what ways do I, and should I, take care of myself emotionally? This blog definitely is beneficial, getting the words out instead of letting them rattle around the brain cells. I do need to build a better support system, maybe try some AlAnon meetings again.
But the problem to me is that "taking care of myself" emotionally means working with S to put our relationship on a good path. That's a huge part of a healthy, happy, well adjusted Molly. So then how do I "take care of myself" if I can't take care of that part?

I mean, to me, the action of "taking care of myself" would include things like figuring out how to buy a house, how to support myself and be a productive part of my community and world.
As an individual I'm doing okay, it's the rest of my family I'm worried about.

Oh but I don't really know. I'm making it all up. I'm just searching for a way to make sense of this crazy crazy world we live in.

And in case you were wondering about last night, my poor sweet man was overtaken again.


Shadow said...

this is a shot in the dark, but al-anon might be the way of figuring out how to take care of yourself. or something similar that'll teach you 'skills' to cope. a good read might be 'the language of letting go' by melody bea(t)tie. i'm guessing here... but you sound confused and searching for answers, and i want to help, but i'm not equipped... oh dear molly, hugs to you and i'll be here to offer support, just keep on writing.

Kathy Lynne said...

Seems to me that on the outside you are taking care of yourself..acupuncture, activities, etc. But what you've been talking about here that is troubling you is your relationship and his alcoholism. Alanon will help you to deal with his alcoholism and then in turn take care of you. I've also read lots of quotes though I haven't read the book from The Language of Letting Go...I think by Melody Beattie..

And my solution for the crazy world we live in...stop trying to make sense of it....just live it.

Cat said...

I can tell you how I worked through this - I had to spend copious amounts of time at the gym working off all the anger and resentment for about 6 months - while my husband worked on his AA meetings and court appreances due to his DUI I worked on my anger and in turn that helped me work on my weight which helped me with my self esteem. When my husband was ready to share i listened while he shared. When I had a concern I was able to discuss it - unlike before he would sit and consider it as opposed to grabbing a drink and or storming out. It takes time but if you begin working on you he will be more able to work on him. Plus - I really bagen blogging during this period - as he got sober - I wrote. It helped.

Ariza said...

Well written article.