Thursday, September 4, 2008

What the Fuck

So tired tonight. Long, hard day at work today, in some pretty good heat. My back is really bothering me too. Haven't been sleeping well. Feel drained and very sad and so lonely. What am I going to do? I want so badly for things to be so good that I think maybe I imagine the good times to be even better than they are. Or maybe I'm just able to appreciate the good times because the bad times are so bad.
Or maybe I'm just sick to death of wondering and guessing and imagining what's going and I just want to hear it from him. I need him to talk to me. If there's any way to make it work, he's going to have to talk to me. I don't care if he doesn't want to communicate, he has no choice if he wants me in his life. I just hope that "if" isn't too big.
Ugh. Too tired and blue to blog tonight.
Depressed and complaining -- that will have readers flocking. Away.

6 comments:

Mary Christine said...

Oh, amazingly enough, people do flock to us when we are down... in the program anyway. Hope you feel better soon.

Addicted Rantings said...

Molly~ I’m very glad I came across your blog today. It’s so descriptive and well written. Try to relax for now and get some well deserved rest.

Things always look better when we can give them our full attention.

Shadow said...

if nowhere else, express yourself in your blog. writing something releases a whole bunch of negative emotions and puts things in perspective. hope you have a relaxing, pleasureable weekend.

Kathy Lynne said...

Hey neighbor! I'm actually in Amesbury. Thanks for visiting my blog. I can really identify with what you are talking about..not from experience but from what I must have put my husband through. And it is good for me to understand that. I am so grateful to be sober. Have you considered Al-anon?? I know where one meeting is on Monday nights and one of the women in my morning meeting is from Al Anon as well. That's the thing, no matter what YOU do you can't really change him, you can only change yourself. Peace.

Kathy Lynne said...

Oh yeah, and check out Syd's blog: http://fine-anon.blogspot.com/

Mary P Jones (MPJ) said...

I find that people flock to give hugs and comfort when we're down. So hugs from me to you. You're in my thoughts.

Thanks for the visit to my blog. I really look forward to getting to know you better.